So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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