I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
