I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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