You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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