Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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