Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
