Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
