i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
