Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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