but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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