i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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