At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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