You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize