8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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