He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
