I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize