Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
