I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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