OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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