Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
