Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
