Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
