Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
