Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
