my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize