Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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