I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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