would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
