none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.