Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.