The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!