You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?