Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You pole danced in your parka.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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