haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
