Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
