Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
