Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
