12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm always down for nudity.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
