I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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