You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I love you.
Bad choice
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