Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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