The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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