i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
