My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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