Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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