Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
