i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
