3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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