I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
