capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
