Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
