Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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