Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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