You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
