i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
