U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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