Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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