I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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