He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
operation harelip BJ is a go
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
