I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I smell stomach acid.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize