i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
