ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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